KOMPAS.com — Having dropped out of love or the love denied not that fun, even for sensitive, desperate love is very painful. When someone refuses to love us, not just heart ached, but it feels like we are being pushed in the direction opposite of the direction that actually wants us to go.
When the he did not want to establish a relationship is more than just friendship, words that we said to a friend, less is more, "I rejected". Its essence, people that rejected is the victim, or passive.
Researchers at the University of Amsterdam found that the refusal of the nervous system response associated with parasimpatetik. That is, when the body is active, generally when want to fight, the system simpatetik will prepare, heartbeat, dilated eye pupil strengthened, and high energy. However, the system parasimpatetik is in charge of the body at rest. When love is denied, experts say, we will feel not favored, led to the heartbeat melamban, parasimpatetik nervous system activity. The bottom line, denied or terminated love produce physical and psychological response. No wonder if when we experience it taste like the "Uninstall" or "broken", probably because of the sudden melamban.
Designed for fear of rejection
As humans, we are very sensitive to rejection, especially social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance of the people around us. If we look into the ancient past, supposing we live alone and not have anyone, the chance of life we will be at the zero point of human need. another human being to survive. That is, we are social beings, we need the acceptance of others, not able to be rejected. It continues to evolve today, and we still need other people.
Disconnected the boyfriend is the same as quitting smoking
Five of five neurologist agreed, disconnected girlfriend sucks. Forget the girlfriend just as forgotten adiksi of certain substances, so described researchers at Stony Brook University. Researchers found there was an area in the brain are active when the pain of being rejected or parting, that part was also connected with the need for motivation, rewards, and adiksi. In fact, part of the brain shows the similarities between the rejection of love and "sakau" will certain substances. Rejection or breakup pain because we have a dependency of the relationship. After the breakup, as after adiksi on a particular matter, we are going through withdrawal.
Hard facing the loss of human
In General, people feel difficulties to experience a loss. The pain of losing something more powerful than get something. Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Laureate for his work, Prospect Theory, describing how one takes the choice in a situation, when he must decide between two things which contain risk. Example, people will look at the pain of losing money as much as Rp 50,000 bigger than he is getting money for the same amount. This is a psychological fact that our brains looking lost more weight than getting a new thing.
Losing feels stronger than get something, it means we are more motivated to avoid a sense of loss rather than take risks to get more. Consequently, not a few people after breaking up love says, "enough is enough! I enggak want to anymore dating. " We want to avoid the risk of loss, although there is a possibility we get true love in others.
The more we fail, the more distant goals are pursued
The study indicated that more and more often denied or parting, further also goals that we want to pursue. Jessica Wit, from Purdue University, said that after a few unsuccessful kicking the ball into the opposing goal, football will face higher and narrower than before.
Easy to bear witness to the power of refusal. The more we often rejected and break up the love, the more we looked at our vain efforts, then we will be reluctant to try again. Whereas, it will also create further belied the adulation of the liver.
Editor: Nadia Felicia