KOMPAS.com -Divorce, for most people, not an option to resolve the problem of the relationship. But not a few also couples who ultimately chose divorce. If you are experiencing a similar thing, do the following to make divorce way 10 is over the disaster. At the very least, you still can maintain good relations with the former spouse, let alone with the consideration of parenting that is still in need of affection and attention of her parents.
1. give time for yourself
However divorce affect Your Psychic. Your reaction to something will change, the need for and interest you too will experience the shift. For that, you need time for yourself to organize themselves. Wake up clear rules and boundaries to the former spouse, especially to create patterns of parenting on children. Let friendship walk through paskaperceraian.
2. Carefully select a mediator and Attorney
Divorce cost to pay for the services of a lawyer. However, you can save costs by only paying for the services of a mediator if communication with former pairs are going well. It means a divorce granted to a decision together received well by both. But on the condition of a bad relationship, even in case of conflicts, the lawyer to be the most appropriate mediator, even though you have to spend more money for this.
3. write down the planning of childcare and talking about directly
Fokuslah on what is best for the child when designing and writing patterns of parenting paskaperceraian. Imagine your child's feelings while reading the plan of care written clearly. If the child is already big enough, talk with them. Say that you and your former spouse will work as a team in their parenting. The interests of the child have to be the main focus above all the interests of you and your former spouse.
4. believe it is okay, but always verify
The deal already accepted both sides need to be written. Agreement on parenting, for example. Make sure all the approvals made written clearly. This is where the importance of why divorce need accompanied lawyer who acted as mediator. Issues such as money and parenting requires the written agreement.
5. prepare to face changes
Failure to undergo a deal paskaperceraian sometimes cannot be avoided. Friction still will remain between you and your ex-husband, especially related to parenting. Be prepared with the condition that will change later. At least make a plan to minimize failures, i.e. to write with details about the agreement you made with the former spouse. Make sure that all parties understand it clearly.
6. Be cooperative
When one party violates the deal, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why this agreement is violated. Especially with regard to childcare. Make sure the interests of the child above all else.
7. avoid patterns longtime relationships
Part of Your recovery paskaperceraian is no longer responsible for the ex-spouse, family, or any related to her personally. So any with him against You. You have to break away from it, including not using patterns longtime relationships, i.e. don't ask for support from the former spouse to your personal problems.
8. Let the relationship transform
You will feel lonely and lost, even derailed after divorce. However this is only temporary, and in time the relationship will be healthy again. At least you and your ex-partner could be a good friend, especially in terms of caring for the child. Let the relationship flows naturally and transform into healthier paskaperceraian.
9. take the time together as a family
When the relationship or the feeling you've been healthy paskaperceraian, take the time get together as a family. Go eat dinner together children and former spouses legitimate just done. The goal to show your child that her parents still matter. As a family, You can still be gathered together.
10. do not put a new person
Then gather together children and ex-partner, make sure no other person or figure in your relationship as well as the husband. Although children are adolescents, they will be confused by the presence of new people. Be sure to focus on the family unit without any foreigners on board.